I had an interesting dream last night. For some reason I returned to Selma and decided to spend the night in my childhood church. When I woke that morning from my position on a couch in the foyer, I found the carpet covered with snow; it had been blown in by virtue of the fact that the glass doors in front of the church were partially broken. I was delighted that it was snowing, so I went outside (in a t-shirt, gym shorts, and no shoes, I might add). This being a dream, I wasn't cold or anything. Once I got outside, though, I felt the sun come out from behind a cloud. I could hear the snow melting. I turned around and watched as an inch or so of snow melted away, leaving behind dead grass.
Now that the snow was gone, I went back inside and sat down. Then to my horror I spotted the church's pastor and his extended family driving up -- his oldest son, his oldest daughter and her husband, his youngest daughter, and some other people. I wasn't supposed to be in the church, given that I'm no longer a member of it and indeed am quite the heathen, so I was at a loss as to how to explain myself. I went outside to greet them (since hiding would've been futile). I explained that the back door was open and I spent the night on the couch.
He pointed out that his office door was open, and I said I hadn't unlocked it. This much is true: no one has keys to his office, even the janitor. I've been in there before, though: there's not much to it. A desk, a computer, a few bookshelves, lots of pictures and certificates. I don't think he believed me, but I don't especially care. I greeted one of the people outside, who I then recognized as an old youth group leader. I greeted him again with more enthusiasm after I recognized him. Since they had shown up, I decided to clear out: the church building feels rather like home to me, even after my year of estrangment, but I didn't want to be there when their church service started.
For some reason I had moved a television set and a stereo into the assembly area. They'd call it a sanctuary, but I reserve that term for other places. As I was moving my stuff into my car, I stopped to watch a stream beside the church. Normally dry, or at the best boggish, all of the melting snow from a field behind the church had resulted in a babbling brook. I stood and appreciated it a while, noting that now spring had arrived and everything was amazingly green. Then I left.
Conclusions:
- I still dislike my childhood pastor for reasons too complicated to go into. I have my own opinions regarding him, and they're well-formed, I think.
- Maybe the winter/spring thing means that...my life in the church was cold and dead and my life after I've left it is vibrant and healthy?
I'm not much for Freud. Real conclusions: I still think that man is an obnoxious ass, a vile boor, and so on. Also, spring follows winter and melting snow does result in runoff streams. So...my dreams are scientifically literate. Huzzah.
ngment, but
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
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