Talking to Myself

Over the weekend --

 This is the weekend. You're in it.


Oh. Yesterday, a friend introduced me to Sidereel.com, a site that links to videos of television shows and movies.

 He told you about it before, but you ignored it.


Yeah. Anyway, I've been using it to watch Firefly and Aliens in America. The former is a seven-year old science fiction show, which I did not know was that old. I remember hearing the phrase "browncoat" during high school and applying it toward a girl I used to like because she wore a brown coat. Not the girl I used to like, but the girl I developed a crush on after she won the third-grade spelling bee and I realized she was pretty cool.

 You wrote her a note.

Yeah! In...sixth grade.I remember I gave it to her right before we left for spring break, because I was afraid of what she might say.

 What did she say?

Well, she didn't say anything. Not really. We exchanged Christmas cards for a few years after that, though. Anyway, Firefly. It's cool. My favorite character is Kaylee, who is adorable.

She just sat there, twirling that cute little umbrella. Anyway, I'm enjoying Firefly. The captain, Mal, is a bit moodier and more rude than I'd like, but he's an occasional bad-ass, which I like.

 Because?

Because I like bad-asses. They embody strength and the will to use it.

 Not bad qualities in themselves, but problematic. 


In what way?

 Strength can be used for selfishness, and will may triumph over good reason or conscience.


Will triumphing over good reason sometimes leads to good results, though.

 At times. It can inspire to both good and evil purposes.

Yes, which is why we cannot be quick to judge. Anyway, the other show, Aliens in America -- it's about this Pakistani exchange student who lives with an American family. They're the stereotypical sitcom family, very shallow. The mother sounds like Sarah Palin, which is annoying.


  It is unwise to be bothered by that which you cannot control.


I'm aware. I'm talking...visceral response. I don't like it. It's not like I sit around all day being irritated by her voice. I just finished an interesting episode in which the family partakes in their weekly Sunday trip to Wal-Mart, and Raj -- the exchange student -- notes that going there is like her religion. Consumerism is an American religion, I think, along with patriotism and a person's professed religion. The three typically run together, but I think spirituality drives out all three.

> Religion may be too strong a word, but I understand your meaning. Each penetrates a person's life, tying them to outside concepts and to other people. It gives them a sense of purpose, of belonging. 


Yeah. And I don't like looking for outside purpose, external belonging. I want to be...independent, a spiritual anarchist.

 Using, of course, the idea that you are your own law.


Right.

 That, too, can be problematic. The will is a powerful thing, and may lead to you making mistakes.


I'd make mistakes bowing before outside idols, too. This way the mistakes are mine. I'm responsible for them.

 Indeed.


Anyway, back to Aliens in America. The mom is really bothered by Raj -- that's the Pakistani student's name --'s comment, which seemed strange at first but made sense later. I found out while watching that she used to go church, and finds meaning in it, so the idea that it's been supplanted bothers her. She orders her kids to get back in the van so they can go to church, and they're reluctant because they've not been in ten years. I don't like her ordering her kids --

 - Teenagers. 

- around like that, partially out of principle and partially out of my own experience. At the same time, I get the need to instill some sort of code in people, because her kids are shallow.

 Shallow?

Vapid, selfish. Like I said, stereotypical sitcom. The daughter has an interesting face, and the son reminds me of a guy I went to school with.

 In personality as in looks.

Yeah.

 Meaning you were friends with someone who was vapid and selfish.

Sort of. He was...like the guy, only popular and not a geek. We're getting off track, and talking about someone else to boot. What's up with you?

 Sometimes I criticize just to criticize.


No shit. Anyway, the sitcom. The mom is worried about her kids not having a moral code, especially her comely teenage daughter who wants birth control pills for Christmas, so she starts making the kids go. Justin, the boy, thinks God is responsible for making a bully trip on a rug, so he's all into praying that God will give his teachers sicknesses and help him have sex with the episode hottie. Raj, a devout Muslim, is disappointed in Justin's vapidness, but Justin is a typical American teenager and Raj is a 'spiritual eastern man'.  It's all stereotypes. I doubt most Pakistani teenagers are as good people as Raj.  He's..exceptional. I think I'd like him if he were a real person, although I'd find the beliefs silly.

 Like?


Like believing in Jesus' virgin birth, believing that a book written in the 600s is all divinely inspired, the literal word of an angel.

 Curious that he believes in the virgin birth but not a resurrection.


You're telling me! I think it's supposed to be a minor concession to Christianity.  Anyway, the girl -- Claire -- falls for a guy at the church they start going to, and the mom becomes increasingly worried about them. At some point Raj tells her that she has raised children with good values, and that with or without religion they will make the right choice.

 An excellent comment.


Yeah! I don't think religion is necessary for morality, or even that particularly helpful. Raj was also wrong, though, in saying she'd raised kids with good values. They have no values. They're teenagers.

 Surely not all teenagers are terrible.


Eh.

 Not a point worthy of discussion?

Not really.

 As you wish.


Right. So. I was thinking of going to an Episcopalian church service tomorrow, but now I don't think I will.

 Why's that?


Well, why should I go? Just to experience a service with some interesting parts and some dull parts?

 Is there no other reason?


Not that I can think of. Episcs are pretty humane, I guess, what with gay and female bishops, but they still hold to mostly-Catholic orthodoxy and the service sounds like it would be uncomfortable. The acid test is, of course, my impulsive answer to the question "Do you want to go", which is --

 "No".

Right. SO...tomorrow I'm going to wake up and just....take it easy.

 And not be potentially enriched in any way.


How would I be enriched?

 You might meet someone. You might hear an interesting idea.


Meet someone? I've seen their pictures. Older adults, young kids. Besides, I'd be a stranger in a community. And I don't want to get dressed, and I don't want to drive to town, and I don't--

 You appear still conflicted about this.


Well, yeah. Maybe. It might --I don't know. I just don't wanna.

 It is, of course, your decision.


Yeah. I'm gonna watch more Aliens in America now.